Hype!
-Will
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Fuck You Griptonite Games
This is one of the worst games I have ever played. Okay, in all fairness Resistance: Retribution is the worst game I've ever played but Bloodlines was one of the most disappointing games I have ever played. I thought Bloodlines would be (at the least) a good portable Assassin's Creed compared to the atrocious Altair's Chronicles. What we get, however, is a cluster fuck of a game with poor story, voice acting, a repetitive and mind-numbingly boring combat system, and a bitch of a camera that you can never seem to get under control.
So, now onto the reasons this game sucks monkey testicles, for one the camera is abysmal. The main reason is this: to move the camera you hold down the L button and use the face buttons (X, Square, triangle, and circle) to move the camera. What the fuck is up with that? This is even worse than the face button camera movement in Resistance: Retribution by adding one more button into the whole debacle. And since the game has a heavy focus on stealth and platforming you will need to move the camera a lot. However, by pressing the L button you center the camera behind Altair, but there are still a lot of times when you need to manually adjust the camera and it gets on my fucking nerves.
Another thing that drives me up the wall is the absolutely horrid combat system, because - when it comes down to it - all it is is holding R and pressing square when the enemy attacks, thus instant-killing them and making running away absolutely useless, because why run when you can kill all of your pursers in less than a minute. You can use normal attacks and throw enemies into walls but why the hell do that when you can just use the lame ass counter system. This is a very bad system and shouldn't have been in Assassin's Creed to begin with, because when you try to make a portable version of Assassin's Creed for some odd reason you also have to encompass all the bad things about the game. Also, the "boss fights" are extremely easy, all it is a fight with a regular soldier with a bigger health bar and slightly altered attack pattern.
I also have a small thing to say about the graphics: they are absolutely horrible. Normally this would not really bother me (as graphics aren't all that important) but compared to what this is trying to be the graphics don't hold up at all. And we PSP owners know the system is capable of much more, such as (although absolutely horrible) Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (and, ironically, CC and Bloodlines both suffer from a lot of the same problems).
That is all for now.
-Will
So, now onto the reasons this game sucks monkey testicles, for one the camera is abysmal. The main reason is this: to move the camera you hold down the L button and use the face buttons (X, Square, triangle, and circle) to move the camera. What the fuck is up with that? This is even worse than the face button camera movement in Resistance: Retribution by adding one more button into the whole debacle. And since the game has a heavy focus on stealth and platforming you will need to move the camera a lot. However, by pressing the L button you center the camera behind Altair, but there are still a lot of times when you need to manually adjust the camera and it gets on my fucking nerves.
Another thing that drives me up the wall is the absolutely horrid combat system, because - when it comes down to it - all it is is holding R and pressing square when the enemy attacks, thus instant-killing them and making running away absolutely useless, because why run when you can kill all of your pursers in less than a minute. You can use normal attacks and throw enemies into walls but why the hell do that when you can just use the lame ass counter system. This is a very bad system and shouldn't have been in Assassin's Creed to begin with, because when you try to make a portable version of Assassin's Creed for some odd reason you also have to encompass all the bad things about the game. Also, the "boss fights" are extremely easy, all it is a fight with a regular soldier with a bigger health bar and slightly altered attack pattern.
I also have a small thing to say about the graphics: they are absolutely horrible. Normally this would not really bother me (as graphics aren't all that important) but compared to what this is trying to be the graphics don't hold up at all. And we PSP owners know the system is capable of much more, such as (although absolutely horrible) Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (and, ironically, CC and Bloodlines both suffer from a lot of the same problems).
That is all for now.
-Will
Labels:
altair,
anger,
assassin's creed,
bad combat,
hidden blade,
the eggman
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Updates and the Like
So first off Merry Christmas everyone.
Secondly, the reviews I said I was going to do will be put up eventually. I will re-review The Zombie Survival Guide, and I'm gonna review Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines. Also, I got Max Brooks' World War Z. Expect a review whenever the hell I finish it.
It and Cell are also very good so far and I will (again) review it whenever the hell I finish the books.
-Will
Secondly, the reviews I said I was going to do will be put up eventually. I will re-review The Zombie Survival Guide, and I'm gonna review Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines. Also, I got Max Brooks' World War Z. Expect a review whenever the hell I finish it.
It and Cell are also very good so far and I will (again) review it whenever the hell I finish the books.
-Will
Labels:
blog,
books,
it,
max brooks,
stephen king,
updates,
world war z
Monday, December 21, 2009
I KNOW A GHOST!!!
Alright, Animal Planet has a show about ghosts. Yeah. Weird for a channel about nature and animals to have a show dedicated to lame ass stories. And another thing is I like to watch these kind of shows for the entertainment value (because I don't believe in this mumbo-jumbo). However, you don't even get that from The Haunted (oh by the way great title). All the show is, when it comes down to it, is: shots of ugly-ass people talking about the "ghosts" in there house and stock footage of the "evil chair" or the bed (dun dun dun). Not joking, the whole fucking show us exactly that and it is boring as hell! And the whole shtick is that animals can sense ghosts, so why the hell is it called "The Haunted"? Why not make the title have something to do with the fact there are animals who can sense ghosts? Answer: because Animal Planet are cashing in on all the shows on TV that deal with mystery and ghost. You know what the real mystery is? How these shows actually get good ratings.
I hate you Animal Planet.
-Will
I hate you Animal Planet.
-Will
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Speaking of Social Networking . . .
I logged into my facebook and realized how superior it is to MySpace. First of all, facebook has almost no ads, at least none that are very noticeable. There are some that are kind of small and made by users (I think) and I'm almost certain facebook doesn't get any money from them. Also, there are almost no emos/scene kids, at least not enough to notice, and this is a good thing for me. Lastly, the fact that there is no way to customize your profile. Most would say this is a bad thing, however; from my experience on MySpace uniform profiles are a relief. Because on MySpace there are some atrocious layouts.
Well, there are my reasons why facebook is better than MySpace.
My facebook page
-Will.
Well, there are my reasons why facebook is better than MySpace.
My facebook page
-Will.
Labels:
blog,
facebook,
MySpace. Will,
scene kids,
social netwroking,
the eggman
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The Fucking Ice Temple
So, recently I started replaying Phantom Hourglass, and I am in the bitch ass ice temple. First thing I hate about the ice temple is that before you even get to the dungeon you have to partake in this lame ass crime mystery. What you have to do is find a spy from an opposing tribe, the problem is if you accuse the wrong person you get in trouble, and have to wait until you can ask people again. Also, there is a denizen who will give you advice for like 100 rupees, however, if you accidentally skip over some of the dialogue you not only wasted 100 rupees, but he won't tell you the tip again! Why?! And (this is in almost any ice themed level) there is ice on the ground that makes you slip all over the fucking place, so when you're racing against the time to get to a certain area you're fucking sliding all over the place and will probably fall, causing you to have to do the whole fucking thing over again.
I hate that temple, oh well, at least it's not as bad as the water temple in Ocarina of Time.
-Will
I hate that temple, oh well, at least it's not as bad as the water temple in Ocarina of Time.
-Will
MySpace, Part 2.5
This is a small tack on to my MySpace, Part 2.
Another reason that I hate MySpace is that there are too many fucking ads. There are so many it makes the already abysmal experience even worse, it's like having sex with a cheap hooker then finding out in the morning that she has an STD, it doesn't fucking help!
And no matter where you go there are fucking ads, it's like these companies and websites are stalking you, desperately trying to get you to click some of the stupidest ads ever, really, only an idiot would click on this shit.
Anyway that was just another reason I hate MySpace, not really a Part 3, just a tack on.
-Will
Another reason that I hate MySpace is that there are too many fucking ads. There are so many it makes the already abysmal experience even worse, it's like having sex with a cheap hooker then finding out in the morning that she has an STD, it doesn't fucking help!
And no matter where you go there are fucking ads, it's like these companies and websites are stalking you, desperately trying to get you to click some of the stupidest ads ever, really, only an idiot would click on this shit.
Anyway that was just another reason I hate MySpace, not really a Part 3, just a tack on.
-Will
Labels:
anger,
blog,
MySpace. Will,
rant,
stupid fucking ads
MySpace, Part 2
For part 1, click here.
Alright, to begin this is a follow-up to the first post I ever did on The Sky Is Our Ocean (my blog before The Teeth In The Night). In said post I briefly mentioned my hatred and absolute disdain for MySpace. However, this post (being my first) was not very good, and did not say much or really go into detail on my hatred for this site. That is why I am making a part two, so I can state exactly what I hate about MySpace.
1. The Pedophiles
Okay, not only is it disgusting and morally repugnant but really creepy. But it gives the soccermoms a reason to hate MySpace, and even though soccermoms are my worst enemies the more people to hate MySpace, the fucking better. And ironically MySpace is owned by the Fox Corporation, the soccermom news source, serious lulz here amirite?
2. The Shitty Layouts
Above: your average MySpace layout, note the shitty color scheme, disease pic, tildes in the name (because that is so fucking cool in the first place), horizontal scroll bar, and the icing on the cake, the mother fucking cherry on the mother fucking sundae, an annoying rap/punk/pop song playing in the background (whilst the music player is hidden not allowing you to turn the shit off, forcing your gray matter to ooze out of your ears as you unwillingly listen to some of the worst music ever).
3. The Scene Kids . . .
Alright, the fucking scene kids, I get enough of you assholes in the real world, I don't need you on my fucking internets as well. Please, go away, I'll give you a cookie.
These are the main reasons I hate MySpace, I may make another post later listing more reasons, but then again I may not, and by then you probably would have forgotten about this rant.
And so no one gets dickish and says: "Why do you use MySpace if you hate it so much?". To which I have to say: all of my friends are on MySpace, and for quite a few of them it is the only I can talk to them, this answer should suffice.
My MySpace page.
-Will
This is going to be one hell of a party.-Dante, Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
Alright, to begin this is a follow-up to the first post I ever did on The Sky Is Our Ocean (my blog before The Teeth In The Night). In said post I briefly mentioned my hatred and absolute disdain for MySpace. However, this post (being my first) was not very good, and did not say much or really go into detail on my hatred for this site. That is why I am making a part two, so I can state exactly what I hate about MySpace.
1. The Pedophiles
Okay, not only is it disgusting and morally repugnant but really creepy. But it gives the soccermoms a reason to hate MySpace, and even though soccermoms are my worst enemies the more people to hate MySpace, the fucking better. And ironically MySpace is owned by the Fox Corporation, the soccermom news source, serious lulz here amirite?
2. The Shitty Layouts
Above: your average MySpace layout, note the shitty color scheme, disease pic, tildes in the name (because that is so fucking cool in the first place), horizontal scroll bar, and the icing on the cake, the mother fucking cherry on the mother fucking sundae, an annoying rap/punk/pop song playing in the background (whilst the music player is hidden not allowing you to turn the shit off, forcing your gray matter to ooze out of your ears as you unwillingly listen to some of the worst music ever).
3. The Scene Kids . . .
Alright, the fucking scene kids, I get enough of you assholes in the real world, I don't need you on my fucking internets as well. Please, go away, I'll give you a cookie.
These are the main reasons I hate MySpace, I may make another post later listing more reasons, but then again I may not, and by then you probably would have forgotten about this rant.
And so no one gets dickish and says: "Why do you use MySpace if you hate it so much?". To which I have to say: all of my friends are on MySpace, and for quite a few of them it is the only I can talk to them, this answer should suffice.
My MySpace page.
-Will
Labels:
blog,
MySpace. Will,
rant,
scene kids,
shitty layouts,
TSIOO,
TTITN
Friday, December 18, 2009
Holy Hell Am I Excited ^_^
As some of you Legend of Zelda fans out there know (and if you don't, do you live under a fuckin rock?) the new LoZ game came out some time early this month. And . . . I'm probably gonna get it for Christmas!
And another thing, for those of you who don't know, Princess Zelda will actually do something! In Spirit Tracks she will be able to posses the most powerful normal enemies in the game, the Phantoms (she can do this because at the beginning of the game these guys come to break some evil entity out of the Tower of Spirits, and they kill Princess Zelda, so she serves as the Navi, or Ceila of Spirit Tracks). You use this Phantom form to help solve puzzles, get items, and fight enemies and bosses.
The game looks very similar to Phantom Hourglass--as it should, it uses the same engine. However, it really looks unique and I am very anxious to find out what the train sections are like. Hopefully, they aren't as boring as the sailing sections in Phantom Hourglass.
-Will
And another thing, for those of you who don't know, Princess Zelda will actually do something! In Spirit Tracks she will be able to posses the most powerful normal enemies in the game, the Phantoms (she can do this because at the beginning of the game these guys come to break some evil entity out of the Tower of Spirits, and they kill Princess Zelda, so she serves as the Navi, or Ceila of Spirit Tracks). You use this Phantom form to help solve puzzles, get items, and fight enemies and bosses.
The game looks very similar to Phantom Hourglass--as it should, it uses the same engine. However, it really looks unique and I am very anxious to find out what the train sections are like. Hopefully, they aren't as boring as the sailing sections in Phantom Hourglass.
-Will
Dead Inside, and Not In the "Emo" Way . . .
I have no idea what to do with this blog, and on top of that I feel not motivated enough to write anything for The Teeth In Then Night. I can't write anything for Z-Day because I finished my chapters and Austin has yet to start, although I don't blame him, he is grounded after all. But that never stopped him before . . . asshole. I wanted to do some reviews, but I (a.) can't think of anything, and (b) am too fucking lazy to read some books, instead of writing this pointless update.
So, with not much left to say . . . here's a picture of Boba Fett:
-Will
So, with not much left to say . . . here's a picture of Boba Fett:
-Will
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Blog: 17 Dec. 2009
Right now I am in the process of reading Stephen King's Dreamcatcher, and I have to say it is a really good book. Wow, listen to me, not even done with the book and already starting this like a review. Anyways, the point of this post is to announce my new reviews that will be coming soon: The Stand, Cell, It, Firestarter, and some video games: Professor Layton and The Diabolical Box, The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, and Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines. Look forward to these reviews (most of which will come after Christmas, Firestarter, The Stand, and Dreamcatcher will be up as soon as I finish them.
-Will
UPDATE: 18 Dec. 2009: These will be posted at The Teeth In The Night .
UPDATE: 30 Dec. 2009: No they're not.
-Will
UPDATE: 18 Dec. 2009: These will be posted at The Teeth In The Night .
UPDATE: 30 Dec. 2009: No they're not.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Hi, Fans of The Teeth In The Night
This is Will, of The Teeth In The Night. And I made this blog because I needed a personal blog away from WordPress, because, frankly, I preferred having a blog about me, myself, and I. When Lee stepped in everything changed, I had to refer to TTITN in different ways and it made me feel weird. So I made this, a blog all for myself.
-Will
-Will
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)